Mailbag 11.10.04

More Halo 2, plus some other things Halo 2 related.

Connections
So I bought Halo 2 as many have, played it, campaign is great etc. etc. rules my soul etc. Then I went to multiplayer. I remember hearing that all I had to do was push a few buttons and be in the game in under a minute. That hasn't happened once. I've been waiting for 4 minutes at a time at least, usually the length of most of the games. This is, of course, the first day of its release. Maybe it's some kind of overload to be fixed soon, but still. Bungie said they could take all that would be thrown at them, so if this is a sign of things to come, uhh, wtf? The multiplayer game itself is as fun as it was made out to be, but the load time is seriously detracting from that. You guys hear anything about this?

Hm...Yeah, there is some waiting, but it really depends. Now that so many people are on, the major factors are when (what time of day or night) you play, and how many people are at your skill level; at least from a procedural standpoint. From a technical perspective, the most I can say is that Microsoft's and Bungie's servers just got hammered all at once, and that things should even out in the next few weeks.

--Douglass

It's-a-me, Master Chief!
Hello Douglass, I just wanted to pass something along to the guy who wrote yesterday that he's not really interested in Halo 2 because he's not into FPS games...

I've never been fond of FPS games, but got Halo as a gift a couple of years ago. It took me 6 months to even open it up. I played it, got utterly hooked, and it stands as one of my all-time favorite games. I had never before enjoyed an FPS and haven't since, though I've tried a few... of course until last night, when I started Halo 2, which has me giddy. I say give Halo a try whether or not you are into the genre.

Fair enough. Keep an open mind, tell somebody to give it to you for Christmas, wait until the hype dies down, and then try it in the quiet of the night, all by your lonesome. Can't hurt, right?

--Douglass

New Zealand, BEATCH!
Just to argue the point, as this misconception has been perpetrated even more so here, but New Zealand was actually the first country to get Halo 2. A friend of my brother's who lives there picked up his copy at midnight, 2 hours earlier than I could have, IF any of the stores here had been open where I live (which they weren't). Even stranger, the lowest price I found for the Limited Edition tin case with the bonus DVD was US$59, whilst the standard edition was actually $5 more expensive (US$64)!! I count this due to K-mart's policy of undercutting other stores prices (i.e. one store had the Limited Edition at that price, whilst another had the standard edition at $64). Still, it made the decision an easy one!

Yes, I apologize for not clarifying NEW ZEALAND UBERALLES! Tee hee. For real though, we have been receiving letters about New Zealand being the first to technically obtain their copies, due to the zany time zone configurations. And yes, we Americans do tend to lump you kiwis (friendly version) in with the Aussies. So, for the record, the New Zealanders got their copies first. Hey world, you hear that???!!!

--Douglass

Smaller, Less Ugly Version
Hey there, im a ps2 guy. for whatever reason, i just dont like the xbox... could be stemming from the controller not conforming to my ps2 friendly hands, or just that its microsoft... anyway, this generation of consoles is coming to an end, and im realizing that my ps2 bias was getting the better of me, and that there are a plethora of great games for xbox out there, and ive been thinking about maybe getting an xbox to catch up on some of the games ive missed so far, if not just to play some wicked ps2 games with better graphics and bonuses... anyway, i was wondering if microsoft in their infinite wisdom might possibly be coming out with a smaller, less ugly version of the xbox at a reduced price ala ps one and ps two seen as how xbox2 is on the horizon and xbox1's days are numbered. anyway, if you could get back to me, that would be rad... i dont usually read the xbox site, but i didnt know who else to ask, so if you could reply to me in an email the big fat "NO" that i am expecting, then proceed to post this question and laugh at me publicly as i prolly wont be reading a reply on the site, that would be great, thanks again, and sorry for the punctuation, im stoned and lazy

Many people already have begun this line of thinking. It's an interesting idea. Sony appears to have done it best with PS one, with the full renovations strategically placed well into the system's aging years, and keeping people excited about buying hardware. The PS two is freakin' awesome looking, and it comes at a serendipitous time, too. My original PS2 just stopped working (laser reader). It's also a very Japanese thing to do; you know, reducing the size of things, making them smaller, more efficient, more portable. I suspect Microsoft is looking closely at the possibilities of reducing the size of the Xbox, but I have never heard a word about the chances of it happening. MS hasn't said a thing.

--Douglass

What were you thinking?
What were you thinking? Did you not play multiplayer? No ability to search for maps or game types? Bungie decides what way we play, and when we play it? This equates to a 9.8? This is the kind of online implementation you expect to see in the shoddiest of XBL games, yet you deemed this worthy of a 9.8. Get your tongue out of Bungie's ass and join the real gamers in asking Bungie to fix the online aspect of the game.

What were you thinking? I was thinking this is the best Xbox Live game I've played. Nothing really comes close. I was thinking that the whole package -- the gameplay in the campaign and in the multiplayer mode, the Xbox Live capabilities, the graphics, sound, and everything all wrapped up is a 9.8. As for being a real gamer? My advice to you is to quit your bitching and play. Go online and stop trying to defend your team's base by tripping enemies with your dead body.

--Douglass

Hello Mister Editor!
I'm French so please don't mind my bad spelling! I wanted to know (it's probably a question we often ask you) if Half-Life 2 was still made on Xbox because I haven't heard on thing on it since e3 2003, and it frightens me!! So please, give me some godd news and keep up the good work! Benji Long Live Xbox!

Oh mon Dieu, Benji! Mai oui! Your country's very own Vivendi Universal has indeed said that Half-Life 2 is coming to Xbox. The real question is a quelle heure? (Sorry, my French spelling is weak sauce.) I suspect that sometime in 2005, probably the fall 2005 is when Half-Life 2 is likely to hit Xbox. Just a wild guess of course. Valve is a fishy developer, one that's hard to pin down timing wise. You can never tell with them...

--Douglass

Covenant Talk
Hey, did you guys notice the difference between the instruction manuals of the regular and Limited Editions of Halo 2. Even the text on the inside is completely different. Also, what the hell is up with the way they put the discs on top of each other in the Collector's Edition. Mine got scratched, although I don't think it hinders performance (since you guys said you had mad pop-in too). Still, that is a dumb mistake...

Yes, we did notice. Kinda cool, actually. I always wanted to read Covenant text.

--Douglass

Nerd
Let me preface this by saying that I was one of the nerds who stood in line at Midnight to get Halo 2. To be exact I went to my local GameStop at 1am. I thought by then the crowd would have dwindled. I ended up standing in line for about 20 minutes....not bad.

I played the Xbox Live portion of Halo 2 and it was fun. However I feel that the match lengths are way too short and the time it takes to dump me into a new match takes far too long. The graphics are great but don't live up to the hype. I'm looking forward to the campaign part because deathmatch stuff doesn't do much for me. I own and love my Xbox and I really like Halo 2.

That being said....

In ancient Greece there was a warlike city state called Sparta. The people of Sparta were known to be fierce warriors and devoted so much to their government that they would gladly die for it. They were considered to be the greatest warriors in ancient Greece. In Halo, the Master Chief is called a Spartan.

Oh one more thing about the Spartan's in ancient Greece. Spartan warriors were all men and fought in teams of 2. These teams of 2 were male lovers. The homosexuality was encouraged to strengthen the bond between the warriors. In fact when a Spartan male married, his bride dressed as a man and lay in their bed so that the Spartan male would be able to feel comfortable having sex with her. This is no lie. Check it out for yourself!

This begs the question...will Halo 3 introduce the Master Chief's male fighting (and loving) companion? Is the Master Chief gay or at very least bi-sexual? I wonder how this bodes for the dudes who got the Master Chief tattooed on their bodies. Then again if you got the Master Chief tattooed on your body, you might be a homosexual to begin with.....

This was a pretty interesting idea until the end, where it comes remarkably close to being very un-PC. But I'm willing to entertain the idea, since I'm not offended. If you read the books, or at least The Fall of Reach, you'll know that Dr. Halsey, the female scientist that dreamed up the Spartan program, did in fact name Halo's Spartans after the Greek warriors. But there weren't double-digit pairings in her plans, and as far as we know, there is only one Spartan left, and it's John 117, i.e. Master Chief. It's not likely he's willing to have sex with an un-enhanced female. But then what the hell do know? Does Lara Croft have sex? Does Mario? Is Luigi gay? These are questions we may never find the answers to. And while we're on this random vector, is it all that surprising that Master Chief doesn't seem all that interested in women, sex, or anything other than killing Covenants? I'd say that Master Chief is most likely heterosexual, and that with all of that male aggressiveness and testosterone in his body, he really ought to be the horniest man alive. That's pretty much where I'd like to end this weird conversation. I honestly don't want to know about his sexuality, if in fact he has any at all. Thanks...for the letter, I suppose...